I bet you know someone who does this. If you don’t, chances are you are the friend/family member that does this. If that is the case, you, my friend, are a jerk 🙂 This concept has become the norm in my home as far as a my husband is concerned. D loves to get our child ready for the day or a specific excursion and then make her wait to leave while he accomplishes the menial tasks he SHOULD have been doing while she was getting ready. Now there is something you have to understand. I am a “wash-n-go” kinda gal. I’m not into makeup and other than a ponytail or bun, I don’t do much with my hair. I can be ready to walk out the door with 20 minutes notice(30 if I can’t find my chap-stick).Then there’s D. Bean & I affectionately call him a peacock. Because that is what he does. He goes through several outfits before choosing(usually shorts & a T-shirt) and then has to spike his hair just right. Then he has to check and double-check with me to make sure he looks good. He has to flex in the mirror several times because he did 10 push-ups and wants to see the results. Now mind you, at this point both Bean and I are ready to go. Now I’m sure you’re asking “Well what on earth could he have been doing while you 2 girls were getting ready?” I’m also sure that you’re probably thinking it was something dire like solving world peace, or at least of significant importance like balancing the national budget……MADDEN. He’s playing Madden. Because he seems to be functioning under the misconception that we take a long time to get ready. Now once we are ready, and have waited on him to change and spike his hair perfectly and flex in an ever so manly fashion, you would think he would ready to get in the car and actually depart for our destination? NOPE. At this point we could at least be considered fashionably late. He still has to sit on the porch and smoke(i know, it grosses me out) and possibly use the potty(yes i said potty). All this time our darling child is glaring at him and growing increasingly more frustrated. at one point she has even been known to say “I’m not getting any younger!” It’s moments like those I am certain I took the right infant from the hospital.
How do i deal with all this you must be wondering? Well first off, I love D for all his quirks and Idiot-synchrosies(Yes I am aware I “misspelled” that word.) That being said, I grin and bear it. Marriage, like Motherhood, is a battlefield sometimes. I have had to learn the hard way to pick my battles, and this is just one I’m not willing to call in the cavalry for. Maybe send a drone, or a sniper, but definitely not the full on assault. Because at the end of the day, we got to where we were going, and we had fun when we got there. Sometimes it is frustrating to be reminded that I married a peacock, but when he flaunts his feathers….he sure is handsome 🙂