Summer Time Sadness

Well…summer is officially over in the Beach Bum Household. Bean has started school. This year she is a 1st grader. So now she is an experienced student….who still can’t sleep in her own bed. The summer went by surprisingly fast, and in all honesty, I feel as though I failed.

I had all these high hopes for Bean’s first official summer off from school. I finally quit bartending so I wouldn’t be so tired this summer. I had lined up Pinterest ideas and projects and outings. I compiled healthy yet yummy snacks and lots of things to keep my little monster stimulated and enriched while off from school for 3 months. Do you want to know what she did all summer? She played Minecraft. I failed. I epically failed. I went in guns blazing and I ran out of ammo like a week in to the summer. and I ran out of energy. Hubs works hellish hours, so majority of the child raising falls on my shoulders. And I am OK with that. Except for the fact that I get exhausted and then feel bad about complaining that I ‘m exhausted. And to be honest, I get a little tired of constantly having a shadow. Even this morning, as I was attempting to take a shower in the privacy of my own bathroom which is in my bedroom, I was interrupted twice because of a loose tooth. Within a span of 5 minutes. Now this isn’t her first loose tooth. It’s not even her second loose tooth. So really the urgency should have abated a little by now. But the way she came bursting into my bathroom twice, you would’ve thought that the house was on fire or there was a stick in someones eye. Nope, just a loose tooth.

I wanted this to be a summer that mimicked my own summers as a child. Lots of time outdoors, drinking from garden hoses and things of that nature. But I was confronted with a sad reality only a couple of days into the break. Kids today can’t think of adventures to have on their own. Not even my child, who is very inventive and creative. She was happy to play inside all day, bossing me around and building legos and playing pony universe. But the moment I kicked her little butt outside to play with her friends it was like her life was over. Play outside?! They’ve never heard of such a thing. So I’d help them out and point them in the right direction; I supplied them with chalk, sports equipment, water balloons, water guns. That lasted all of about 15 minutes. We live in Florida, which in the summer is a few degrees cooler than Satan’s anus, so I tried to be understanding. But I was also tired. I can’t believe my mother successfully ran a household and a business with 3 kids out of school at the same time. I can barely keep my kitchen clean. So I caved to her demands of television, tablets and too much sugar. I let her play (IMO) excessive amounts of video games. I accepted my failure as a parent.

I’ll probably try harder next summer. I am going to attempt to go in more prepared. I’m going to resign my self to the fact that even if I don’t want to go swimming, I’m going swimming with her. Even if I don’t want to pack a cooler and go to the beach, I’m going to do those things anyway. Why? Because it’s not my summer. It’s hers. when I was a kid, Summer was a magical time of fireflies, water wars and adventures. I was lucky in some respects. I have siblings, so I had ready-made playmates. I am Bean’s ready-made playmate. And I need to make peace with that. I’m going to have to buck up and make myself behave like a kid. Darn. 🙂

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