Momisms

momsim

Momisms: We all heard them when we were kids. We all made mental notes to NEVER say these to our kids.  The classic responses that moms offer their children. Some defy logic, others defy physics. Here’s just a few to take you back to those days when you would look at your mother, baffled and terrified at the same time, while still learning some sort of valuable lesson.

“It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt” unless you were the type of kid who was trying to end up hurt or hurting someone else, this one probably made you look at your own mother and think “Duh mom, if someone gets hurt, we can’t play anymore and that’s not fun.”

“Just wait until your father get home.” This one taught you both patience and an imminent sense of foreboding.

“When you break your leg don’t come running to me.” Um……does this even need elaboration?

“Eat your dinner, there are starving children in Africa.” Well then by all means send them this, they might like it.

“Were you born in a barn/raised by wolves/etc?” Well funny you should ask, I’ve actually wondered if my siblings were rabid animals. Also you raised me, so I guess I could ask you the same question.

“Your face is going to freeze like that.” Is that what happened to your face?

“I brought you into this world, I will take you out of it.” This was a favorite of my mom. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure that’s called murder, but hey…..prison would probably be a vacation to a mom. Someone else to make meals, dedicated shower time….I’m failing to see the downside.

“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.” This was a lesson in cause and effect. Cry and end up with something else to cry about. Very simple…..don’t cry, ever. Even if you’re on fire with a stick in your eye. Not a peep. Because lord only knows what she could possibly give you in addition to the stick you already have to make you cry more.

“Your room looks like a hurricane went through it.” I never knew my mom moonlit as a meteorologist.

“If you don’t cut that out I’m going to slap you into next week!” Physics. Moms apparently defy physics and have discovered time travel.

“Because I said so, that’s why.” Oh yeah, now i realize your argument makes perfect sense with your valid reasoning.

“I hope your daughter/son acts just like you.” Why? Why would you wish that on someone? That’s just cruel. Mom seriously, take it back, that mom Voodoo shit is real.

We have all heard them, and said some, if not all of them. And one day our offspring will probably put that attitude they inherited from us to good use and say something smartass in response to our Momisms.

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